Wise Women Expats
A new series featuring inspiring women of a certain age who have taken the leap and made a new life in France.
Hello dear readers — I’m launching a new series featuring fabulous women expats of a certain age in France. Kicking things off is Nan Doyle, the founder of Toast Home & Away, a small-group slow travel company. I met her on a wonderful trip to Joshua Tree five years ago. At the time, Nan and her French husband lived in New York but in 2019, they moved to a rural farmhouse in the Pyrenées-Orientales. I hope you enjoy my interview with Nan below!
P.S. Nan will be leading a very special tour to Southern France from September 19-27, 2024. Learn more about it and sign up at this link.
P.P.S. New here? Check out the stories behind A Good Vintage here and here. You can also access the full archive and check out some of my favorite French things here.
Q: What brought you to France?
My husband and I wanted a new experience, a country chapter, a garden and animals, silence and nature. We bought a huge pile in the hills, about 45 minutes to the Mediterranean and three hours to Barcelona.
Q: What type of work do you do? Is it the same or different than when you lived in the U.S.?
In New York, I had a business teaching home cooking and leading urban food tours. In 2018, I grew the business to become a travel guide, leading small-group, cultural and culinary trips. Today, I lead two trips each year, one to my region of France and another to Tamil Nadu, India. It's different from what I did in the US in that I spend a lot more time gardening, hiking and enjoying my new pastoral life. But the joy of sharing my discoveries with others has not abated. I love bringing new experiences and places to others!
Q: Name a few of your favorite French things--anything from food and art to culture and design to daily rituals and quirks. How do you experience "art de vivre"?
1. Sense of time. Here in the south, things move slowly. A popular expression I hear often is "pas de soucis," the Catalan equivalent of a Jamaican's "No problem." People genuinely take the time to chat, share a meal, marvel at beauty, have a laugh...
2. The produce. I am mostly vegetarian (a flexitarian who won't say no if presented with a beautifully roasted leg of lamb, for example). The quality of the juicy summer peaches, the mellow sweetness of leeks, the bright fava beans, the local cherries. People are generally more tuned in to seasonality here. The weekly tradition of local farmer's markets is still going strong. It's a sensorial delight and an important moment to chat and gossip with favorite vendors.
3. History. At every turn is a Roman chapel, a dilapidated farmhouse, a soaring aqueduct. One is never far from the shadow of ancient history. History is respected in France and woven into the fabric of life and conversations.
Q: What are some of the best things about living in France?
I love the variety and depth of natural wines, many produced right here, where I live. I enjoy being a foreigner, exchanging with others, the sparkle of intrigue and curiosity. It's fun to think and formulate thoughts in another language, like a puzzle for the brain. I love being far from the current political climate in the US. I treasure the richness and depth of Europe, and the fact that I can drive to Barcelona for a tapas lunch on a whim.
Q: Do you think that mid-life women are treated differently in France? In what ways?
As in every Western society, young women have an allure that is particularly celebrated in France. Seduction--not in the sexualized American sense--is a way of life, an ingredient in human interactions. When I lived in Paris for 10 years as a young adult, working in media, my former profession, it was startling (sometimes awful and sometimes fun) to be the object of male attention. Now that I am 60, I wear the cloak of invisibility that many mid-life+ women share. And yet, I do feel the French generally respect elders. It's written into the DNA of the nation. So I now get to be slightly imperious and decisive, in a way I couldn't when I was younger!
Q: What have been the biggest challenges you've had to overcome living in France?
Learning technical terms for the renovation of our farmhouse, negotiating with tradespeople, understanding the quirky (and sometimes frustrating) way of doing business here. Also, being forced to eat restaurant meals at very specific hours. The number of times I found my self hungry at 2:30 pm and realized not a single restaurant was open for business... leading me to eat a sorry sandwich on a park bench. Small sacrifice, but something to know if you're someone who loves good food and considers each meal an opportunity to experience joy!
Q: What tip(s) can you offer women who are dreaming of moving to France but are not sure where to begin?
The first thing to get in order is your administrative life: Visa, papers, documents. The French are strict about all this. I'm no expert but there are many resources available for foreigners who wish to live in France. I would start there. Will you want to work? Do you have sufficient funds to prove you will not become a "burden to the state?" Learn the rules and then make a plan, otherwise your dream will be hard to achieve.
Q: Outside of where you live, name a few of your favorite French destinations. Why are they special to you?
Marseille, a buzzing metropolis at human scale. I love how the city turns towards the sea. I love the multi-cultural mix, the artistic vibes, the majestic Calanques natural reserve surrounding the city. Paris, because... well, Paris. Brittany for it's jagged coastline, sea-swept landscape, connection to Ireland and its Celtic heritage. Plus, my husband and I were married there at a week-long bacchanalian celebration in 1995!
Know someone who should be featured in Wise Women Expats? Drop me a note at Sacha@grassfedmediadc.com or click the button here:
Tis a movement... So great.
I loved this! can't wait to read more.