Wise Women Expats: Karen Karbo
Writer Karen Karbo on living the sweet life in the South of France
Bonjour friends! As we head into the Labor Day weekend in the U.S., here’s the next in the Wise Women Expats series, featuring writer, author, and writing retreat teacher Karen Karbo, 67. Karen is the author of several books, including In Praise of Difficult Women, and she pens the highly entertaining newsletter Yeah, no. Not Happening. We met when she was co-leading a writing workshop I took earlier this year in Paris. Each time I interview an expat woman, it inspires me and makes me a wee bit envious. I hope to be that woman one day! Here’s a peek into Karen’s enchanting expat life in the South of France.
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Where do you currently live, and what brought you to France? Why did you leave the States?
We live in Collioure, in the south, where the Pyrenees mountains meet the Mediterranean. In 2010, a pal invited us to share a holiday home here for a few weeks. It was a coup de foudre! We loved everything about Collioure -- the sea, the aesthetics of the village, the international vibe. We kept returning every late spring for longer periods. We started to make some friends. Eventually, technology improved to the point where we could envision working remotely. It wasn't so much that we fled the States but that we were drawn to Collioure. I think that's a key distinction.
What does a typical day look like for you?
From May until October, I get up around 8 in the morning and swim, followed by a petit déjeuner at one of two cafés overlooking the sea (I know, don't hate me). Then I sit at my desk and write for a few hours. Sometimes, we're invited to lunch, and after the wine and l'entrée and le plat and either a cheese course or dessert, I'm ruined for work. (It's still a mystery to me how the French can function after lunch.) After a nap, I answer emails and do admin stuff, then take another swim before the obligatory apéro in the evening. It's a jolly way to live if I can keep my wine consumption to a reasonable level.
What are some of your favorite French things?
Oh help, where do I start? Salted butter from Normandy, the apéro tradition, the TGV that takes us from Perpignan straight through the middle of France to Paris, pretty much all of Bordeaux, reblochon cheese from Annecy, La Roche Posay sunscreen, how you can change out of your swimsuit on the beach and no one cares, chocolate from Olivier Bajard, the little white boquerones from Anchois Roque marinated in vinegar, olive oil and garlic, Léon Marchand, Henri Matisse, Annie Ernaux, Fondation Louis Vuitton, Les Rencontres de la photographie d'Arles, the club sandwich served at Maja Hoffman’s stupendous Hotel l’Arlatan, fleur de sel from Camargue, cherries from Céret, the French pharmacy, of course.
What are some of the best things about living in France? What are a few of the biggest challenges?
The best thing about living in France is knowing that if I trip on some enchanting cobblestone street and break my arm, I'm not going to go bankrupt. You'd be surprised how that simple fact — that you can go to the doctor and not go broke — affects the general vibe of the culture. My biggest challenge is accepting that even though I do speak French, it's pretty [certain] I'll never be able to express myself at the level I can in English. I've said to French friends on more than one slightly drunken occasion that I'm really much smarter and funnier in English.
Do you think that mid-life women are treated differently in France? In what ways?
There's both sexism and ageism in France, but it's not as flagrant as it is in the US. France is a culture that still believes the joys of adulthood are better than those afforded to kids. So, while a young woman may be acknowledged as hot, mid-life women are thought to be more interesting because they've lived a little. They have opinions, the ability to make sophisticated jokes, to be mysterious -- attributes more intriguing to the French than mere youth. After all, anyone can be young, but not anyone can be interesting.
What tips can you offer women who dream of moving to France but are unsure where to begin?
Visit France. A lot. Like the US, France is an enormous country that differs north to south, east to west. I have French friends from Normandy in the north who come to Collioure in the deep south, but they can't understand the accent and feel as if they're in a foreign country. Also, know yourself. If you hate the rain and huge cities, in the end, you're not going to like Paris because after the sheen wears off, that's what it is. And -- start working on your French. In that a culture is its language, France is French, and the better you're able to speak it, the better your experience will be.
Outside of where you live, name a few of your favorite French destinations. Why are they special to you?
We moved to Collioure right before Covid hit, and we haven't gotten out much, except to return to LA and Portland once a year to visit family. That said, I love Bordeaux, Arles, and of course, Paris.
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French pharmacies are the best!
Loved this interview!